Avoid bad first dates in Asia with these practical tips.
Discover what the biggest mistake guys make (myself included) when it comes to dating Asian women.
Spare yourself the painful lessons I had to learn. ;-)
That being said - you'll find yourself at odds with conventional wisdom.
This is a good thing because what you read in the magazines or what your mother told you about dating Asian women doesn't work!
Or I wouldn't be sharing my wisdom with you that I had to learn the hard way.
Have a date soon? Then if you value your date (and your heart) don't do this…
Most bad first dates flop before they even start! I don't recommend taking her to
movie theaters or plays. The reason is that you both can't talk! Sure you can try to whisper things to her here and there…but let me bring down the reality: She'll feel excitement and loving feelings but she won't feel them for you. She'll feel them for the movie or the movie's main actor! I think that superstars get enough dates, don't you?
classy restaurants. Besides the fact that it'll cost you a pretty penny - there's a big reason why you don't want to take her here. Taking your Asian date to a classy restaurant says 3 things about you (none of them good)
• you're trying (too hard) to impress her
• you're setting up the expectations of wanting a serious girlfriend
• you've made her feel uncomfortable and now she has to play the 'nice girl'
Remember the movie 'Titanic'? Great movie for learning about dating! The main female character was forced to be a good girl at the expensive restaurant. She had a blast when she left the place to try out something new and fun (in the movie it was 'river dancing'.)
"What if I want a serious girlfriend?" Ironically the fancy restaurant idea doesn't work. She'll slot you into the "nice guy (yawn) who wants to be her boyfriend". She's looking for a fun guy who's nice who she wants to be the girlfriend of!
Note: Discover how to make that happen with these good first date ideas instead.
So taking her to the wrong places can mess up the date. What else could you be doing to mess it up?
Most Asian women end up having bad first dates with guys who are
self-centered: talk a lot about themselves without showing any interest in her.
cheap: make the bill a big deal. If you have to pay it and you want the date to continue then just pay it. If you've taken her somewhere casual it can't be that expensive, right?
and worst of all…
judgmental: The BIGGEST mistake guys make is to judge their date.
No one likes to be judged, right?
If she opens up and shares
something about herself that's personal, I don't recommend calling her
names because of it.
For example I went out with a woman who's family was poor.
She was (and is) an amazing woman but her family didn't have much status (which in Asia is a big deal.)
Instead of judging her like all her other guy dates have done (making jokes about her being able to afford her drink, etc…)
I shared a personal story too.
I told her about my family's financial struggle at one point (a
few actually). ;-)
What did this do?
It built rapport and
encouraged us to share more about each other. It also let her know that
I accept her as the human being that she is. This does more than gets
you points - it sets you apart from all the idiots (competition).
Some guys like shooting themselves in the foot by mis-representing themselves in these 3 ways. Avoid this and you'll be the one she chooses!
"Can you recover from a bad date?"
If you've made a bad first impression then your chances of dating her again are slim. Think about it for yourself - if a Asian woman acts poorly during your first date: would you honestly want to see her again?
Be sure to follow the advice above and you'll notice how you'll be having more second dates too. ;-)
"Dan Bloom is extremely experienced, extremely knowledgeable, and an
excellent teacher. He has got a deep understanding of the whole dating
process in Asian countries."