Experience Best First Dates With Asian Dating Coach's "The Perfect First Date"

Enjoy the best first dates in Asia with the help of famous Asian dating coach "RedpoleQ" with Pickupasia.

Below is an interview with him.

1/Your book is titled:  mentions executing dates to get laid.  Is this a "sneaky" way to get into girls pants type of ebook? 

Expats get enough of a bad rap as it is. ;-)

There are a lot of books out there about tricking girls into bed, but this is really a book about avoiding the simple mistakes that most guys make on dates.  It's about understanding that it doesn't "just happen" like it says on TV and in the fairy tales that mom told me. 

Guys have to realize that if a girl goes out with a him on a date, she's sexually interested on some level.  If she wasn't, she wouldn't show up!

On top of it, she knows that you're sexually interested in her as well, so there is mutual sexual interest from the beginning.  Some women might claim that they go on dates "just for fun" but they don't go on dates with guys that creep them out. 

Why? 

Because they know that the guy is trying to move things towards something sexual and women don't put themselves in that kind of position unless they're are open to it at some level.

best first dates in Asia

RedpoleQ and I in Korea

Often times, a girl might even want sex, but because the guy didn't plan the date well, with that possibility in mind, they both end up sexually frustrated.  What I'm advocating in this book is that you set the scene for sex to happen if that's something that both parties want.

2/ could you tell us more about the "sales process" and why getting laid as soon as possible (as controversial as it sounds) is actually the way to go to secure a relationship in Asia? ;-)

Yeah, I know this surprises a lot of people out there who think that if sex happens quickly it means it's a a one night stand. 

I think this misconception is out there because a lot men are not so discriminating about who they have a sex with and will select women primarily on how easily they believe they can have sex with her rather than how much they like her.

But when guys have a better understanding of women and dating dynamics they have a lot more choice and when they have a lot more choice, they're going to choose the women they actually want to be with.  Are there still unscrupulous men, out there? 

Sure.  But, for those guys who hate the feeling of waking up next to a woman they want to get rid of, this book will help immensely.

In fact, most guys find that the amount of thought, planning, and effort that goes into following The Perfect First Date book means that it's not worth it for girls they don't genuinely like and I agree.

3/The guy would obviously want to have sex right away, but would the woman want to as well?

Would a woman want to have sex with Brad Pitt right away?  YES!  Women like sex.  They like having sex with guys the like.  But the reason why she can jump into bed with Brad Pitt so quickly isn't because he's famous so much as she knows he has high value.

When a girl goes out with you, it's harder for her to make an assessment of your value, so she needs more time to evaluate than she does for a known public figure.  But, when you do things right, you give her all of the information she needs quickly enough that she can make a much faster assessment so that it may not require the proverbial 3-dates.

4/You don't recommend doing a "dinner + movie" date and avoiding the "dating frame".  How come?  Have guys been doing it all wrong? ;-)

So those are two very different questions and I'll start by discussing the "dating frame".  A lot of people don't like or are uncomfortable with first dates--they have negative associations with them or think of them as being uncomfortable and awkward. 

In Asia, girls often feel they need to dress up and really look their best for a "date" which means that they have to block off even more time to prepare for them.

This is good because, she looks her best, but it's also means that it requires more of her time and energy. 

And if it requires more time and energy than meeting us has to be higher up on her priority list than we may be able to make it after just meeting her once.  So, we want to make it as easy as possible for her to meet us and the so the more casual it seems, the better.

On several occasions, to seal the date, I downplayed the seriousness of it by telling the girl she didn't need to wear makeup, and even though they did still wear some make-up it took the pressure off of them from having to look their best and gave me what I really wanted, which was time with them.

If you're in the "date frame" just as she feels a pressure to be  a certain way, they're also expecting you to provide a certain kind of experience.  If you're OK with that, then it's no problem, but for guys who are strapped for cash, the "date frame" can be disastrous to their wallets. 

Another thing is that in general it doesn't give you a much flexibility to your plans because maybe you want to invite her out to a barbecue at your friends house or a picnic or other neighborhood event.

When it comes to the dinner and movie idea in particular, it's not ideal  for 2 reasons. 

A) if the move is bad, then the date is bad.  Not always, but often enough that it's not a risk worth taking. 

A friend of mine told me a hilarious story about going to  the premier of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and seeing the mortified looks and uncomfortable shifting in seats that he saw among many of the couples there during the rather graphic rape scene and revenge rape scene! 

So, never take a girl that's new in your life to a movie you've never seen.

B) The movie decides her experience.  You want to be in control of the emotional experience as much as possible, but you can't do that when you're in a movie.  Sure, studies show that two people spending time together, no matter what they're doing, builds some level of connection. 

But in essence watching a movie is a solitary experience, so there isn't as much opportunity to make an emotional connection.

5/  What would you say is the "core" to the success of getting the kind of dating life/relationship you want?

The core is to create a compelling lifestyle that provides opportunities to meet a lot of the kinds of women you like.  So, if you like women at all, then living in silicon valley is probably not a good move for you though it has a lot of other things going for it.

If you like Eastern European girl, best to move to Poland or the Ukraine and if you like Asian girls, move to Asia. 

As for lifestyle, that encompasses a lot.  Lifestyle is really about the work, live, free time matrix.  As in, if you have to travel 2 hours a day to commute to work that in general has a negative effect on your lifestyle. 

On the other hand, if you live far away from where you like to socialize, than the amount of effort and planning it takes to socialize will have a negative impact on your social life.

If you can't sleep well because of your mattress, or your noisy neighbors, or for some other reason, that has a very negative impact on your lifestyle. 

Conversely, if you love your bed and can sleep really well and wake up well rested and refreshed, then that's a bonus.  If you have work you find really exciting that you love to do, that will be a big bonus.

So many small things have an effect on our attitude that making these small adjustments to our lifestyle can have major effects that improve our lives. 

For some people, living in a small apartment downtown for a lot of money makes them much happier than having a much bigger place even a few stops away.  For another guy, he doesn't mind a long commute if it means he can be surrounded by nature. 

These preferences are all individual and it's important that you look at them objectively as opposed to trying to make yourself fit the preferences you think you're supposed to have.

And somehow in all of this, you have to factor in meeting women.  It might be that you can weave this into your work or living situation, but more commonly you'll have to do it as part of your free time. 

And that can mean that you spend time in place where the women you like are around, or it might mean that attend certain types of events or that you become an online dating warrior.  It's a personal call but you have to figure out that component in your life.


6/ How does your ebook work with Asian women?  Would it work with dating Asian women back home too?

The principles in this book apply to dating anywhere(except maybe strict Muslim countries where women aren't able to be alone with a man who isn't family!).  My experience is with dating Asian women in Asia primarily but of course I've dated a few western women too.

In a lot of ways, these principles are a lot more powerful with women who grew up in western countries, because the sexual revolution has taught them to be more active in their dating lives.

With Asian women, the degree of planning means that you won't be relying on her to help make things smooth because you'll have all the bases covered for whatever situation you find yourself in. 

Additionally, because many guys in Asia will be using public transportation to get around, I cover a lot of the factors to keep in mind for that including if you have to use Asia's infamous "love hotels".

7/ Where can we get your ebook if we want to know more?

It's only available on Amazon at the moment as a kindle book that you can read on your phone, tablet, or PC.  Get The Perfect First Date while you can.

Get in touch with Dan Bloom if you buy it and he'll throw in something extra for you as a special thanks.

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"Dan Bloom is extremely experienced, extremely knowledgeable, and an excellent teacher. He has got a deep understanding of the whole dating process in Asian countries."

Stephen, Korea