Wonder if we can really put the experiences of fifty first dates into one?
I've done it countless times and so have my clients. Here's why - What really connects people during those meet-ups are the amount of experiences they share. It's not even just about what you do together.
It's about what you share and and learn from one another.
It doesn't matter if she comes from a different culture. What's important is what goes on when you meet and how to practically connect with her.
Rest easy - here's how...
How to make your first moment as intense as fifty first dates? Simple - take her to fifty different places.
Okay - maybe not fifty!
The fact is that most guys only go to one or two places during their first meet. This isn't as powerful as if you had taken her to many different places.
Instead of just going to a restaurant for an hour try this - Go to casual restaurant that is quick enough with its food (ideally a place you've been to before and like).
Then go for a walk to digest.
After go get some ice cream.
After that go sit on a bench.
Then walk her to her car or subway station (or elsewhere…)
In any case - instead of just the same-old-dinner meeting - you've taken her to 5 different places!
This alone is the equivalent of 5 dates!
You connect a whole lot more because you have more common experiences together.
You can also do this more easily because most Asian women will follow your lead.
Also it takes away some of the discomfort of
having to talk.
This is one great way to make your shared time more intense. Another thing you can begin to do is…
The biggest mistake guys make on their fifty first dates with an Asian woman is to get caught up in her shyness or language barrier. This is a mistake.
Don't let the fact that she won't contribute much to the conversation hold you back. In fact don't worry about the limits in language.
What I do is carry on the conversation regardless accepting that sooner or later she'll open up and talk more. Her silence is her really saying "I'm scared he will judge me or think I am not good at English, etc…"
She's concerned about how you'll judge and see her.
How do we change this? Give her opportunities to judge you and see you make mistakes! This is a tough one but will bring so much more rapport between you two.
Start with trying to speak her language. You'll mess up which she'll be glad to see. You can also confess that you're not good at language learning. I had a date teach me how to write in Pinyin on her iPhone. You have to write from
• left to right and
• top to bottom
I just couldn't do it! I even confessed that I don't have much patience with art and technology. Note that when I said that it gave her the chance to judge me! She could thing I'm just an idiot. ;-)
This brought a lot of giggles from my date and gave her the chance to teach me. She then felt more comfortable with me. This is the kinds of interactions you want to start happening.
When do most guys do this? After their fifty first dates! They are so scared of being judged that they keep conversations platonic and don't share their deepest vulnerabilities.
For example - during my first meet up with a girl I would talk about the times I messed up in my life. My first business failed and even though I graduated from university - I had no idea what to do with my life.
This kind of personal stories brings people together. I bet when you read the above you felt more endeared towards me. Maybe you even related to my story.
So share stories about yourself and ask for her to do the same.
Note: Is the language barrier too big? In that case keep the stories and language simple (as if you were talking to an 8 year-old.
Use facial expressions and body language to express yourself. You'll be 100 times more effective at sharing your story.
Most guys don't do this until the third date with a kiss (as it goes.) I recommend showing your sexual interest in her sooner and without even touching her.
"How do you do that?"
Glad you asked. ;-)
Learn how to give a sexual gaze. During your time with her - look into her eyes and think about all the…naughty…sexy things you'd like to do with her right there and then. She'll catch your eye and your vibe.
If she asks "what?" You can just shrug and say "I think your sexy." Yes you're putting yourself out there but if you mean it then its gold.
Because you've put the ball in her court. She knows you're a sexual being and it no longer becomes a question of "should I put him in the dreaded 'friends zone'?" It becomes a question of - "do I want anything more intimate to happen between us?"
You give her the choice of continuing to be with you even though you've declared your interaction to be more sexual.
Make sure this works by taking my 9-step Meeting and Dating Asian Women Self-Study Course. I go into more detail as to what you'll need to make your meet ups with women more smooth and enjoyable…you'll know what to do! :)
Just put your name and email below and let's get you started.
Have fun! ;-)
"Dan Bloom is extremely experienced, extremely knowledgeable, and an
excellent teacher. He has got a deep understanding of the whole dating
process in Asian countries."