Angry. Confused. Frustrated.
I was mad, really mad. The type of mad that you get when you’re trying so hard but have no clue why things are going so badly.
It was late one chilly night on the outskirts of Seoul. I was sitting at a subway station exit, waiting. She wasn’t just 10 minutes late, or 15 minutes late - she was an hour and a half late.
Worse yet... she wasn’t even picking up her phone. I felt sick. I felt helpless. I felt worthless.
I should have been grateful for the couple of dates I got with her - but I wasn’t. Deep down inside of me a fear that had been with me for years became more toxic. I had always been desperately unaware of where my next date would come from ...or even if a date would happen that year.
I knew deep down in my gut that I was at the mercy of women when it came to finding someone to be with but it had become obvious at a young age that women just didn’t want to be with me.
I’d never before had a girl who seemed so keen on me just suddenly just... vanish. Sitting at that subway exit feeling my stomach twist inside me I knew I had to do something differently. I knew that... finally... I had to take action.
"Just Be Yourself is Dead"
There is a cancer out there that defeats countless men. It’s based on prejudice and ignorance and masked by pride. It’s spread through labels of sexism, and the ridicule of friends or family.
It’s the type of cancer that prevents people from changing their lives for the better. It’s pervasive... and it really makes me angry.
Some people just assume that things are meant to be the way they are, that things can’t - and shouldn’t - be different. Those same people actively go out of their way to keep you from making the changes you need to make in order to have a better life.
Even into my 20s, I was told to just be myself. “Just be yourself,” has become the mantra of our time. It was clear, though, that doing the same things that I had always done would continue to get me the same shitty results that I had always gotten. It was insanity to expect otherwise.
Lonely, isolated, held at the mercy of women when it came to love and sex, “just be yourself” seemed to be great advice for high school athletes who always had girls chasing them, but that was far from who I was.
Let me be clear on one thing. There are a lot of professional dating coaches out there - I won’t mention any names - who think you have to change your entire character, your entire personality, to get the type of women you want to get. That’s far from the truth. Most guys can stay whom they are inside and still date the women that they want to date. But, make no mistake about it, you have to build knowledge when it comes to women and dating, and you have to start doing some major things differently.
That winter I took a big chance and said to hell with “just be yourself.” This was my life we were talking about ...and I had to act before it was too late.
The East is Not The West
Training began that spring. I began pouring through western pickup material. I say western material very deliberately and I’ll come back to that in a bit.
I began reading stuff by Neil Strauss, Mystery, Juggler, and Real Social Dynamics. One month I spent 4 or 5 hours a night, every single night, dissecting pickup literature to try to understand how things worked.
When I wasn’t reading, I would tremble out onto the street, or into bars and coffee shops, to try to hone my skill when it came to talking to women.
At first, of course, I was a complete disaster but as I started to change my behaviour my results started to shift. Within two months, I was ecstatic when girls actually began to smile at and, in some cases, actually seem interested in talking to me.
That doesn’t sound like much, but I was the quintessential loser in high school... and my dating life reflected that. In fact, it had followed me to university so actually having positive responses from women felt absolutely amazing!
I devoted myself to self-improvement throughout the spring and began to build some real confidence. I mastered the lines and routines contained in those books and began acting cockier, more aloof.
Women responded well to that initially but, as I continued to follow down that path, my results began to stagnate. Sure, just having a few dates with Asian women who weren’t fat or ugly made me feel like a champ but I was worried.
A single date a month does not guarantee a happy future. I had seen the improvement that knowledge and a little dedication could forge but things started to really flatten out. I pushed myself harder over the next few months, making sure to internalize the behaviours and attitudes taught by the top guys in the West, but - if anything - things began to get worse. I was having fewer and fewer dates, and girls seemed to rapidly lose interest in me.
Pickup is the Wild West of capitalism. There are few laws here and it’s easy to get scammed. People and products enter the market all the time, and some guys make false claims to gain followers. People like that really frustrate me - they get me really worked up. One of the biggest outright lies is that western techniques work in other parts of the world.
In Asia, at least, that’s just not true - those claims ignore the critical shifts in mindset that exist between civilizations. They ignore major differences in culture and language that trip guys up and cause them to abandon their effort in failure.
The East is not like the West, and that’s the first thing you have to know if you want to be successful with Asian women.
I was lucky. Somewhere into my development I had met a few guys who told me exactly that. I began following their advice when it came to talking to women. I began to optimize my behaviors for Asia and my results exploded.
At first a few more dates started to trickle in. Soon, that trickle turned into a flood. I was walking into coffee shops, train cars, or bars, meeting women I had never seen before, and then pulling them away from their friends to spend time with me. While initially I was happy with any girl with a face that didn’t look like it was hit by a truck, the girls I was dating started getting better and better. Eventually they were routinely making my friend’s jealous.
This year has been even better - at its height I walked into a packed subway car and instantly spotted one of the most amazing women I had ever seen in Asia, a model, the type of girl who twisted heads when she walked down the sidewalk. With Gibraltar-like confidence I walked up to her and started a conversation that ultimately brought her back to my apartment.
And I won’t even get into the details of my sex life.
Go ahead - Take My Pickup Brain
" I actually ended up buying your book: Foundations... Enjoying it a lot so far, great perspectives into Asian culture. Keep up the good work!"
I was definitely a hard case so if I can do it then you can, as well. I’m incredibly thankful for the advice that other guys based in Asia have given me. Without advice specific to Asia, I’m scared to even imagine where I might be in my life right now.
That’s why when RedpoleQ, a guy who has spent the last 10 years understanding how to succeed with women in Asia, asked me to start Asian Dating Monthly to help guys succeed with Asian women, I jumped at the chance.
But a website can only take you so far. There is a lot of valuable knowledge you need to know -a lot- much more than can be covered in a website. That’s the reason this book was created.
"...this is great - you're definitely a talented writer!"
Before you have lasting success with Asian women, you have to start with right foundational knowledge. That’s what tripped me up initially, and what I want to help guys with before they get frustrated and just... quit.
How You’ll Change
In this book, you’ll:
-Discover major cultural differences between Asia in the West when it comes to dating, love, and relationships, so you’re not left wondering what the hell happened time and time again.
-Understand the surprising impact your race has on your ability to date, or bed, Asian women. Hint: it’s likely much different from what you think it is.
-Gain the right perspective of your own development to ensure your own long-term success. Don’t follow the same disastrous path most guys take!
-Know how Asian women assess you, become attracted to you, and why. Know the key differences between Asia and the West that will save you countless hours of frustration and discouragement.
-Understand the steps that every interaction has to go through to bring it from saying “hi” to a night of sex, or a long lasting relationship.
-Learn three simple, but major, changes you should make right now - today! - which will help you become far more successful with women.
There comes a point in your life when you have to take decisive action, action that will have a significant lasting impact on your future. Don’t waste another day and grab that copy now.
"Just read through the e-book - good work. Interesting stuff in there and also some good reminders of things I had kindof forgotten! Good work! :)"
- Goodfella, South Korea
"Dan Bloom is extremely experienced, extremely knowledgeable, and an
excellent teacher. He has got a deep understanding of the whole dating
process in Asian countries."